Wild Sacred Feminine Blog
Guidance and inspiration & intimate exploration for women
The Shame Game..and how to stop playing
One amazing friend of mine shared with me the following story.
At a moment when she had just received a hurtful and careless comment that really upset her. She had gone to the mirror and watched herself cry.
She shared with me that she had decided that instead of shutting down and getting lost in the shame ,instead she met her feelings with an attitude of love.
Instead of judging the pain, she asked it what it needed. It told her that it needed love! So she gave that love through her simple willingness to see it and meet it with compassion and acceptance.
This is an inspiring example of how to meet our shame, and move into a space of self love, instead of playing 'the shame game'.
The shame game...
Think of a time when you felt really ashamed..
Did you feel small and worthless?
The force of shame tends to hold a strong power over us, sucking our life force into its shadowy grip.
There are many kinds of shame, some we inherit, some we develop in our formative years,...
A single girls guide to receiving masculine energy
I have been single forever, actually that is not exactly true. I have been officially single for about 6 years and sometimes that feels like forever. Of course there has been the odd intimate interaction with a real live man, and there has also been some short but deep love ‘affairs’ and some incredible dirty dances to boot yet in this last period of my life I have been uber celibate and solitary for big chunks of time. Yet this period of my life has also been so incredibly erotic and orgasmic and growth-full and intimate and fulfilling….
How can that be you may ask?
Well I am going to try and answer that question and share some of the ways that I have learnt to use the raw materials of my single life to get deeply met by the masculine.
#1 LET KRISHNA ADORE YOU.
Krishna is the god of love and loved nothing more than playing with his gopis. Some men are really good at adoring women. And I do not mean sleazing on her; I mean adoring her and appreciating...
Loving without expectations-7 ways to cultivate love with no strings attached
Romantic love can be super tricky. What can begin as a deep appreciation of someone, can so easily become distorted with expectations, emotional drama, and confusion.
How can we remain in the purity of our intention to love without it getting all mixed up with our unresolved ‘stuff’?
It is a big ask… huge in fact! Perhaps we will never officially ‘arrive’ in a place where we can consistently love wholeheartedly and surrender expectations for it to be reciprocated in the way that we want…But we can at least try to make conscious the patterns that show up in intimate relating and remain honest and curious along the way.
From much inner research I have come to the conclusion that my deepest intention is to create relationships based on trust, openness and unconditional love rather than need, obligation and expectation.
For most of us, this is a work in progress. I have moments when I experience how it is to love wholeheartedly...
Take me deeper or don't take me at all
Last night I symbolically threw my shame in the river, I threw in the subtle shame I realised I hold on some level about being single. As if maybe that makes me somehow inadequate or undesirable or just not good enough at manifesting!
I released this unhelpful thought form, because it is not based on truth.
If I really wanted a man, I could ‘get’ one, I could manipulate reality somehow and find a body to share my bed with, but the truth is that I do not just want any body. I want a man who can truly open me and open TO me. A man who can really see me, a man who is dedicated to growth and truth in the same way that I am.
I want a partner who takes me deeper than I can go myself.
I am determined not to purchase the idea that men are ‘behind’ the women in terms of growing up and showing up (although I could easily rustle up a hell of a lot of evidence to prove this) and my intention in writing about this subject is not to point out that men...
Is it a break down or are you cracking open?…How to find the gifts in personal crisis
Transformation and crisis….there certainly is a fine line between the two.
If you are reading this , perhaps you are one of the women who has chosen either consciously or unconsciously, to ‘ go deeper’ and explore what is really going on inside of you, rather than ignoring it.
Perhaps ‘the path of transformation’ has taken you through some pretty rugged emotional terrains; intense fear, rage, depression, despair…perhaps you are in the middle of that now. And if you are...well I would love to whisper sweetly in your ear.
‘You might think that you are falling apart honey, but what is really going on is that you are cracking open’
And read on to hear more about why you are feeling what you are feeling, why you should keep on going and what is going to support the process…
When we 'sign up' to feel what we would rather ignore, to explore what triggers us, and embody the full whammy of what we are…It can feel like we...
Neediness.....and how to deal with it
I am lying there in bed, dying to be cuddled, adored, loved…. He is oh so distant all the way on the other side of the bed. It hurts, I feel more alone than if I was alone. Any efforts to bring him closer to me is likely to be rejected because he can sense that I am feeling NEEDY and he is reacting through retreating into his own space.
AAGGHHHH!
This had become a re occurring horror story showing up in my previous intimate relationships. Sometimes it had looked like this. Other times it has showed itself when I was single in the form of incredibly strong waves or insecurity and the sense of needing validation that I am attractive, wanted, worthy….
Can you relate to this??
Probably like myself, you have had times when you have felt incredibly needy...or perhaps you have avoided or squashed down your neediness...
Lets have a look at what neediness is all about!
Neediness sucks; literally and figuratively…It feels like a bottomless pit of hopelessness....
Are you addicted to romantic drama?
I must admit, I was addicted.
It was a humbling moment when I realized that I had been spending the last 10 years addicted to attractions to emotionally unavailable men.
I thought I had wanted love
But essentially I had been addicted situations that affirmed the feeling that I was NOT loved! So instead of attracting affirming and loving relationships, I was attracting connections that took me straight into a big emotional romantic drama!
The dysfunctional intimacy pattern that I was playing out was the classic 'anxious- avoidant' drama.
The anxious - avoidant drama
You know it well ; you meet, it’s amazing you have a great shared connection, then… one of you pulls away to avoid deeper intimacy (avoidant) and the other one freaks out (anxious) and leans out towards the other in his or her efforts to get the feeling of love back.
I guess I am directing this mostly to the anxious types out there, who know what it’s like to feel ‘the love being...
When he leaves ....
So...you get together. He is into it. You are into it.
It is amazing!
He (or she/they) is saying beautiful things/blowing your mind with delicious touch and attention..
You feel loved and desired.
And you get really excited about it all! You are thinking about them all the time.
They are truly rocking your world.
Then…
Then all of a sudden, they stop texting you, stops being enthusiastic about you,
They gets a bit cold, energetically, and perhaps physically they ‘leave’.
Big sigh… I know... it totally sucks.
What to do?
- Feel completely rejected
- Feel utterly worthless
- Think I was stupid for opening too much
- Think I was ‘unspiritual’ for getting so attached
Well fuck that.....
Allow me to share with you my new understanding...
You are a human, and it is totally natural OPEN and to bubble with excitement when you feel loved. Actually, HOW GORGEOUS! What a resplendent...
How to stop emasculating men and reclaim your feminine
I have been that uber self sufficient woman who had difficulty in trusting that the men in my life were capable of really showing up for me.
I also work with SO many of these ‘super strong’ women, helping them to graduate out of the distorted patterns that they have been playing out in their relationships.
One of the reasons I am pulled to do this is that I know first hand that feeling of shame you feel when you realize ……that you are actually, in some way, guilty of disempowering the men in your life
The thing is, is that it actually does not feel good to emasculate men, and step into the power role ALL the time.
And feeling unsupported REALLY sucks too…
AND.. it can be SO frustrating to know you are behaving in ways that are contributing to creating this situation.
If you can relate to any of this then read on.
What is often misunderstood, is that the reason women emasculate men usually ISNT because they really WANT to make men feel like...
How I un-numbed my yoni
Yes it was numb, I knew that and that was a disturbing and confusing fact. It is not that my yoni (aka my vagina) had no feeling at all, yet it was certainly numb, and I knew there must be SO much more sensation and pleasure available to me as a woman.
I had no idea why it was desensitized or how to heal this, in fact I had no idea that what I needed was healing. No one ever spoke about this! I assumed everyone else was a naturally vibrant sexual diva and I was the freak. I felt resigned to my fate at some level, as I quite simply did not know what to do and felt too ashamed to ask anyone,
I felt like something must be wrong with me…
Does any of this sound familiar?
A JOURNEY OF RECLAMATION
Fortunately life took me on an interesting journey to ‘un-numb’ my yoni. And I would love to share this with you, as I am sure I wasn’t the first, nor will I be the last to experience this phenomenon.
I want every woman to know the delicious pleasure of having a...