Is it a break down or are you cracking open?…How to find the gifts in personal crisisJan 19, 2021
Transformation and crisis….there certainly is a fine line between the two.
If you are reading this , perhaps you are one of the women who has chosen either consciously or unconsciously, to ‘ go deeper’ and explore what is really going on inside of you, rather than ignoring it.
Perhaps ‘the path of transformation’ has taken you through some pretty rugged emotional terrains; intense fear, rage, depression, despair…perhaps you are in the middle of that now. And if you are...well I would love to whisper sweetly in your ear.
‘You might think that you are falling apart honey, but what is really going on is that you are cracking open’
And read on to hear more about why you are feeling what you are feeling, why you should keep on going and what is going to support the process…
When we 'sign up' to feel what we would rather ignore, to explore what triggers us, and embody the full whammy of what we are…It can feel like we walk through emotional deserts, hurricanes and floods of tears on our journey deeper into our core.
I am NO stranger to they radical process. One moment springs to mind...I am laying on bed the morning after being bitten by a scorpion, at the end of day 3 of a water fast in the jungle. I wake up after a whole night of riding the pain of this scorpion bite, which had no doubt come as an aid to my transformation journey and I shout out into the jungle 'I want a normal life'.
Yep..sometimes you will look around at the people who seem to 'have it all together' and feel like a complete mess in comparison, as you crawl through the desert ( or jungle as the case my be) on your knees.
But on the other side of the process I can consistently report that the process of breaking down and 'going through it' and NOT having it together AT ALL..leads to re-births and transformations that I could never imagine.
If we are going though this intensive re shaping whilst living around people who do not understand and respect the value of the inner journey it is SO easy to feel like a mess, a failure, like something is wrong,
If we went to a doctor during these times time, almost for sure we would be prescribed anti depressants…
Yet for most people this would just lead to a further deadening of our being, not a healing.
Healing is a process of coming back to wholeness, and within wholeness there is a whole lot of grit and grief that we have been suppressing under the guise of ' having it all together’.
Letting go of control and the habit of ‘holding it all together’ does not always look or feel pretty…., it is definitely not always easy, and mainstream education will probably not provide you with the skills to deal with this shift effectively…
But if you are at crisis point, indeed you are at a place of opportunity, a place where great leaps happen, a place of radical transformation.
With understanding, the process of breaking down can become a deeply meaning-full and transformative process, a ‘cracking open’ to more of who we are… as long as we know how to use it, know how to meet it, and know how to nurture ourselves all along the way.
The question is….
CAN YOU EMBRACE CRISIS AND ALLOW THIS PROCESS TO BIRTH YOU INTO A MORE EMPOWERED AND CONNECTED VERSION OF YOURSELF?
It is so easy to think that because we are feeling intense feelings like grief, sadness, terror etc with no 'good reason' for them, then something must be wrong.
And yet sometimes in order to break through our old patterns, there is a deep purging of unprocessed emotional material from the past that needs to happen.
It could be that the ‘stuff’ that we held, way down deep inside, needs to come to the surface to be felt, and acknowledged, before it can be released.
To make more space for fresh life to move in and flow through!!
I will share you an important secret…. those deep, sometimes messy, feelings that make no sense…
THEY JUST WANT TO BE FELT!
These difficult feelings want your gentle loving attention so they can come out of hiding and transform into fresh raw energy.
(And it might take time for it all to work its way through..)
You may need to be seen as a little crazy and/ or indulgent for a while..
A word of advice;
BE DISCERNING WHO YOU SHARE YOUR PROCESS WITH BECAUSE MANY PEOPLE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND.
(Sad but true..)
If you are going through this kind of clearing out process, most of the people who are not familiar with the path of transformation are going to think you are an emotional freak.
At this time, try and surround yourself with other people who are dedicated to exploring themselves, people who will hold a loving and non judgmental space for you, people who will let you cry and wail without asking you ‘what is wrong’ and trying to fix it.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE FIXED; YOU ARE BEING ‘WORKED ON’ BEAUTIFULLY AND EFFICIENTLY BY THE INTELLIGENCE OF LIFE,
Your job is to stay present and aware.
It really helps if we can create the opportunity to take time out and really 'go there' for a period of time, to really devote yourself to the process. Usually you just need some good old time and space to break through to a deeper understanding of what is really going on.
Whether we have the opportunity for that, in the form of a retreat from the world, one thing is certain and that is we need supportive environments, friends and influences to help hold the space for us.
SUPPORT IS THE KEY WORD
If you have support and love from even just ONE person who 'gets it'
and compassion and tenderness for yourself
if you allow yourself time to just lye down on the earth, cry tears that make no sense, and keep on breathing deeply into it, respecting it and expressing it.
THEN SOONER OR LATER….
(seems you can't rush it…)
Sooner or later something of incredible worth emerges.
A deep ground within makes itself known in the spaces which had previously been all tied up, holding and carrying deep wounding, keeping old programs alive and well, sucking on our life force.
What consistently helps me is my relationship to everything as MA; the Divine Mother. I say thank you constantly, for this opportunity she gives me to learn more about who I am, for the precious chance to get more intimate with the truth beyond the bullshit.
My message to anyone out there who wonders if they are going bonkers when they are just feeling a hell of a lot.
KEEP ON GOING!!!
You are doing it for all of us, you are courageous enough to face your inner reality head on and i applaud you for your willingness to go there and unearth your deepest truth!
Keep on walking your courageous path but diligently NURTURE yourself as you go!
LET THE EARTH HOLD YOU, LYE DOWN WITH YOUR HANDS ON YOUR WOMB SPACE AND BREATHE AND FEEL! LET LOVING PEOPLE HUG YOU AND TELL YOU HOW MUCH THEY LOVE YOU. HOLD YOURSELF, SPEAK KIND WORDS, DO WHAT FEELS GOOD AND RIGHT AND NOURISHING...
Notice that everything is always changing, that YOU are changing!
ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE CRAFTED INTO A EVER MORE NAKED, SURRENDERED AND MAGNIFICENT VERSION OF YOURSELF.
(And who gives a fuck if that looks a little messy along the way)
It is an amazing journey and you are in safe hands!
RECEIVE HIGH LEVEL PERSONAL SUPPORT WITH SONJA MARIA DEVI
Wild Sacred Feminine
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