I remember walking down the jungle path around 9 years ago. I was wet and happy after bathing at the waterfall, and as I was meandering happily, I had a thought: ‘ I would really be living my bliss if I lived here’.

In retrospect, I can see that this is what I call ‘a seed moment’; a moment in which a dream, a vision was birthed. For me, this was my vision of a little home in the lush Les valley in North Bali. It was a moment of insight that activated a cascade of circumstances that led me to invest my life savings on a lease on a patch of untouched jungle, right before COVID hit and the world changed.

Little did I know that, as a result of this seed moment, I would undergo many intense initiations; that I would be challenged, taken down, and reconfigured on a fundamental level through this journey, this process.

When you say yes to something, you become an apprentice to the ‘lila’ of that journey.

Lila is a Sanskrit word roughly translated as ‘divine play,’ and I cannot think of a better term to describe what unfolds when we take a leap and bring something new into reality. In this case, it was a jungle temple sanctuary, but it could just as easily be a family, a book, or any project that leads us onto a new path.

The ‘lila’ is the intricate, challenging, and wild way a path or project unfolds, bringing to light both our strengths and our weaknesses as it sculpts us into a new manifestation of reality, and of who we are within it.

Even from that first moment of seeing the piece of land and receiving that internal yes to move forward, I was challenged to my core. I remember lying on my daybed at my rented house in Ubud for about a month, thinking, FUCK! The savings in my bank account felt like a security blanket, and even the idea of spending them shook me. Then, when it came time to pay, unexpected bank charges appeared at the last moment, and I realised that buying the lease on this land would wipe out my savings completely (fuuuuucckkkk).

That was just the beginning. How I managed to build a little house with electricity and running water, and furnish it completely, in the midst of COVID and the jungle with almost no money, while navigating the mother of all heartbreaks, I honestly do not know.

I had to meet all the different levels of the local mafia and culture, and the endless realities of living in the deep jungle. If you could have seen how far all the furniture had to travel up the jungle path, you would really wonder how I managed to do it. But I did it. I even have a water fountain. Here is an image of a victory moment at the house blessing, when the house was finally built.

There have definitely been MANY moments when I have wondered if spending my life’s savings on a piece of jungle in Bali was actually a really stupid idea… but seven years after diving into this role as steward of this little piece of land at Les Waterfall, I feel like it was a gift to myself.

Some part of me knew that, later down the track, I would need a bliss field to rejuvenate my weary empathic system. After those first initiatory years, I had to step away and live elsewhere as part of my process of making peace with all that unfolded as part of that lila. But now, coming back to see what I created—now that I can be NOURISHED and HEALED by this incredible, high-vibrational sanctuary I created—I can see that, despite the challenges, it WAS a path to living in bliss.

YES! I created a bliss field: a little haven, off-grid and far from the matrix. A place to escape the struggle vibe and be held by the nature spirits; to get away from the noise and be regenerated by silence.

I have been so inspired by the Balinese culture in this endeavour; this is a culture that knows how to ‘do beauty’ and make beauty a priority. I could not have done it without the help of the locals and other land stewards. I see now that every part of it was woven into the lila I said yes to.

Part of my original vision was for this land to be a healing sanctuary & space for retreat, and this has finally been realised. It is now my winter getaway from the UK: a place where I fill up my reserves, build my inner resources, and connect to my soul self.

I cannot even express what a gift it is just to BE here on the land. I generally arrive from Europe weary and tattered, and two weeks later I am a completely different human. My sense is that such sudden transformation can be attributed to the power of the sacred waters—swimming in them, praying with them (there is even a colonic place next door, so you can really get whooshed with it).

And now Kupu Kupu is opening as a healing sanctuary for others. I am renting this private little slice of paradise to those who seek this kind of nourishment, and also to those wishing to birth their own creative projects here, because as I have discovered, it is a wonderful place to write!

For more info about Kupu kupu and details for renting the house check out the link here.

For info on women’s creative retreat packages check out the link here