Wild Sacred Feminine

Sacred Womens Practices 4 Healing & Empowerment

Neediness…and how to deal with it….

Posted by on Nov 13, 2014

Neediness…and how to deal with it….

I am lying there in bed, dying to be cuddled, adored, loved…. He is oh so distant all the way on the other side of the bed. It hurts, I feel more alone than if I was alone. AAGGHHHH! Any efforts to bring him closer to me is likely to be rejected because he can sense that I am feeling NEEDY and he is reacting through retreating into his own space. This has been a re occurring horror story showing up occasionally in the landscape of my recent relationships. Sometimes it has looked like this. Other times it has showed itself when I am single in the form of incredibly strong waves or insecurity and the sense of needing validation that I am attractive, wanted, worthy…. Yes, I have had to accept that there is a part of me, which is, incredibly NEEDY! Neediness sucks; literally and figuratively…It feels like a bottomless pit of hopelessness. It keep us running, looking for ways to escape feeling this horrible feeling, It takes us to that deep vulnerable place where we believe that we are not enough and therefore need to suck up love and validation from others to fill the vacuum within. This feeling of needing could be attributed to the kind of men that I attract and their own issues. But at the same time, after seeing a repeat pattern, I cannot deny that this has got something to do with ME. So I have taken the opportunity to ‘get to know’ my own neediness in order to learn more about how I can relate to others from a place of fullness, rather than lack. This is not just about me, this is about all women (and to some extent, all men and women, we all have our stories of needs unmet). But because I am a woman, who works with women, and I am dedicated to exploring the depth and breadth of this experience of being a woman – and sharing it. And because every woman who I shared my shameful neediness story has sighed deeply and said something to the effect of ‘Neediness! I have that too! Isn’t it awful?’. Because of this I feel strongly impelled to share my exploration of neediness, how to accept it and how to somehow find the lessons and the gifts within it. And it is about me, it is about a...

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