Sisterhood (and bitchiness)
Everywhere I go I am blessed, loved and supported by incredible women.
I realise that I have created the most valuable resource for myself, I have tapped into the awe-inspiring wellspring of support and love that is THE SISTERHOOD, and I benefit each and every day from this.
Sometimes sister support comes in the form of a big hug, a supportive smile across the room a place to sleep, a lend of something I really need, a healing, a pep talk or a kick up the arse…… What I am finding is that I have a global tribe of women to support me and to midwife me through the dips and dives of of my life. Just when I need some support then invariably BOOM another gracious sister emerges to ground me, bless me and remind me of the greater truth in the situation.
What did I do to receive this incredible bounty?
I committed to sisterhood, pure and simple
To do this ….I had to learn to ‘show up’ more fully in myself, i had to explore the ways the i play ‘the separation game’
There were things I had to look at in myself; my insecurities, my fears, my projections.
There have been many moments where I have had to make conscious choices.
In a way claiming the sisterhood paradigm has been a process of committing to love.
I had a good honest look at how and why I fall into the trap of the bitchiness mind set.
This is what I noticed…
*I am only a bitch when I feel threatened or insecure.
*I noticed that certain women would trigger my insecurities and they were usually quite similar to me ( a mirror in the form of a sister!).
*In the event of being intimidated by another woman I noticed that i would try and convince myself that the woman in question was inferior to me in some way.
*I noticed that if I was emotionally triggered by another woman that there was usually something to be learned from our glitchy connection; that we were ‘sent’ to each other to learn and grow in some way. (Once I ended up sharing a seat on a 40 hour train ride from south to north India with a woman who I had a challenging connection with! By the end of the journey we LOVED each other- true story).
*I noticed that women were only bitchy to me when they felt threatened and insecure…
*I noticed that the mask of superiority what I could put on would only come as a an effort for me to make myself feel better about myself.
*I also noticed that I could choose NOT to be a bitch and embrace her as a sister instead (even if she was acting as a ‘mirror sister’ showing me things I did not want to see.)
I noticed all this and I decided to commit to sisterhood because it feels SO much better.
I want my sisters to be happy so I offer them my loving presence in any way I can.
I want my sisters to recognise their own beauty so I recognise their beauty and let them know what I see.
I take every opportunity I have to say ‘Woah sister! – You rock!’.
I have learnt from the example of other amazing sisters committed to sisterhood and i offer whatever support I can to a sister, whether I have known her for 10 years or 2 minutes.
I am not faking any of it, I really mean it. My sisters are truly awesome. And the more I celebrate my sisters the more I celebrate myself, and the more they celebrate me.
It is a win-win
What I continually do to commit to the sisterhood…
I recognize that my sisters and I all want the same thing, to be loved and appreciated.
I understand that we each have a different part of the pie and we do not have to fight for it.
If a sister is super amazing (even if it triggers my insecurities) I choose to TRUST that her amazingness is a gift to the world and no threat to me.
I choose to see us as a vast tribe working for the same big mama
When I have fallen into the trap of judging and comparing I have asked forgiveness of the sister involved (usually just in my mind unless the right moment comes to share) for projecting my crap at her. (I use the process of ho’pono’pono constantly with this sort of thing- i cant recommend it enough…) Also…I forgave my sisters for collectively buying into this false notion of separation and competition.
The fact is that we were trained into the separation paradigm that creates bitchiness…
Bitchiness is fabulous fuel for the patriarchy It keeps us in competition so it keep us alone, so it keeps us disempowered…to claim sisterhood is to change your reality and claim your birth right as a woman to feel loved and supported.
The sisterhood healed me, and will heal you (and the rest of the world too).
In many traditional cultures it was understood that the women (when united!) were holding the fabric of the community together, they were bonding together, birthing together, dreaming together, praying together and working through their crap together. It was understood that to destroy the culture and health of a tribe you went and dismantled the women’s space first.
Without the supportive web of the women, without the spiritual, emotional and energetic holding of the collective feminine it was easy to bring down the village.
I truly believe that what we are doing now is bringing healing to the world through reclaiming sisterhood.
The more we let down our defences, show our vulnerability and open up our hearts to each other, the more love is going to be pumping around this planet healing us all and creating the harmony that we all need.
It is every woman’s inherent birth right but it takes a commitment to rise above the conditioning that tells us that a sexy/successful/beautiful woman is our competition and not our support.
Yes- you have to surrender your judgements and question where they are coming from.
And yes you might have to learn a completely new way of relating… Instead of contracting when you see a woman who you are judging/being emotionally triggered by, you will have to be willing to look at her with the eyes of love.
You will have to see this woman as your sister…who hurts like you, and dreams like you, and yearns for love and acceptance like you.
And in return for your efforts you receive the ultimate prize!
You will have a tribe of deeply loving women supporting you, loving you and blessing you, every step of the way. What could be more valuable than that? Truly, the only reason I am able to do what I do is due to the back up of my super strong sisterhood.
Through our sisters we learn to love ourselves, from this place of wholeness we can be in relationship with the men in our lives in a healthy way.
To create a fulfilling experience of woman hood, the sisterhood comes first !
Do you have difficulty connecting to other women? If so perhaps you could benefit from working through these issues with a loving sister coach ( like me!).
I am available for one on one sessions and coaching programs Contact me now !