Hanging out on the edge-5 ways to harness the power of your emotions
Does anyone else relate to feeling a bit ashamed for being an ’emotional person’?
When shame, fear, anger and rage comes up, do you take the time, and create the space, to feel it? or do you just ‘get on with it’?
Do you hang out on the edge- or do you avoid the messiness of your intense emotions?
In working with coaching women to reclaim their power and juiciness, i am finding a common theme.
We have come to see sensitivity as weakness, we have gotten out of touch with our wildness.
We have been encouraged to ‘keep it together’ and ‘be ok’ rather than to go to our edge and explore the depths of our emotional landscape.
But in our deep emotional life, our true power is found.
Our deep feelings are our Wild Feminine essence seeking expression, showing us things that we need to see, clearing us off what we have been holding within.
When we anesthetize or distract ourselves to avoid feeling our intense feelings then we miss out on the opportunity to learn, grow and change.
Allowing ourselves to really feel difficult emotions takes us to our edge. Hanging out on the edge may be scary, but ultimately it frees us up and at the end of the day, feeling free and alive totally kicks arse over just being ok, and ‘coping’ -wouldn’t you agree?
So many women, tired of the effort of keeping it all together and keeping it all inside, are finding that being REAL and exploring and expressing our truth is SO much fulfilling than being perfect.
We are dropping the myth of how we should be, and learning more and more about what we are.
At the edge of what feels comfortable to us, we find the power of the full feeling feminine; and it is well worth the often tumultuous ride in deep emotional waters…
Here are the keys that allow you to swim rather than sink in your emotional landscape, and use the challenges on your path as a fire of transformation that offers you the gift of your deeply fulfilled self.
I am throwing these out as an offering to you, to me, to all of us, genuinely doing our best to become more whole, integrated, inspired human beings, and who are ready and willing to go to the edge to discover how powerful we really are.
1. Faith in yourself
This one is the almighty key, it is, without any doubt, the one that you cannot live without….you cannot keep on moving, growing, feeling and flowing, without this in place.
But it is not easy, oh no, when it all feels like too much, when it all feels SO icky and uncomfortable and confronting….this is the one that you must call on, refine and solidify…
FAITH! No, not in a higher power separate from yourself.
Faith in that part of you which knows what you need to experience in order to grow, it might be hard to remember when you are in ‘ the thick of it’ but there have been so many moments in your life when you have seen pain and hurt transform into wisdom; let that form your faith in yourself.
Your faith is your lucky charm; it will give you the strength to trust the wisdom in your emotions and courage for the next round. It reminds you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be feeling exactly what you need to feel and that the journey is a path to greater love and freedom.
2. Follow your feeling
Hanging out on the edge means feeling the full breadth of our embodied life. It means saying YES to the intensity of our feeling life.
Meeting emotions as valid, valuable expressions of life force allows us to receive the messages and healing and precious nuggets of wisdom within them.
We need to understand that our emotional crisis’ can be potent medicine, that the pain, once felt, expressed and released, opens up the space for MORE life and love to move freely through our bodies and into our lives.
So sign up, say ‘bring it on’ through offering your full loving awareness to the subtle sensations in your body.
Take space and time to feel and express your emotions when they arise and meet them with unconditional love and acceptance. With intention and awareness the force of your emotional energy take you to the edge, and beyond, to a deeper understanding of who you are.
Ok so it feels pretty uncomfortable at times, once you start hanging out on the edge you see yourself attracting the exact circumstances that really push your buttons…. And that can really be tough, because in the process you are noticing just how much tension/ grief/ anger you hold in your body- and wouldn’t it be easier not to feel that?
But you are learning so much about yourself in the process right? It is all pretty well designed isn’t it? You are being taught, grown, and ripened like a big juicy fruit, the access to your power is getting stronger-YOU are getting stronger, more open, more real, more FREE.
So even it is kind of tough at times, isn’t it AMAZING? Isn’t it just SO much better then ‘holding it all together’ and living out a small fragment of your potential? Isn’t hanging out on the edge, kind of cool and wild and awe inspiring?
Well be grateful for it then, say thank you, for all of it, say it over and over again in a million kind of ways daily, thank you life/ spirit/ma/ god/ the universe/ my higher self/ my wild self for taking me to the edge and encouraging me to learn to fly.
4. Move the energy
Hanging out on the edge can be intense, if you do not actively move the energy that is rising in you, then you might go a bit insane with the pressure! So dedicate yourself to moving it, dancing it, shaking it, screaming it, groaning it, undulating it…
Go out into nature and move your body and make sounds like the wild feminine being that you are. Alternatively lock your bedroom door and put on music that moves you, and go for it. (Dirty bass lines and tribal drumming are much recommended…)
Be committed to moving the energy daily ( this is super important) learn Tao Tantric techniques, Yoga, pranayama or whatever works for you. Takes the edge off, contact the energy in your body directly, move like an animal and dance on the edge.
5. Strong prayer
When did prayer become unfashionable? Probably round the time that we got disillusioned by the concept of god as a grumpy dude up in the sky.
It is time to make god personal, a symbol of what is sacred to us, whatever that may be. If that is nature for you, then pray to that, if that is a divine form, then pray to that.
Usually if we relate to the divine as feminine, we are able to access a more compassionate and all embracing flavor of divine love that celebrates rather than condemns our emotional experience.
Whatever helps you to really feel your connection to something wider, and wiser, than your small human self- use it! The idea that life is just random and meaningless never helped anyone, and when you are out on the edge it helps to have a direction to send your prayers for insight, clarity and release.
It makes it so much easier when you can ask for help and trust there is a higher wisdom that you can call upon. It humbles you to ask, and it is good to be humbled.
Seriously….prayer is potent, it lifts you up- use it!
I hope these keys shine a light of guidance and possibility in your dark moments and fuel your flight off the edge as a more whole, free and happy version of who you are.
Because that is what it is all about…. If we really listen, we can hear that life is asking us to hang out on the edge sometimes and learn to dance with our demons.
And the more we do it, the easier it becomes to turn towards our deep feelings, rather than away from them. We feel liberated as we become less unafraid of those deep rumblings in our inner world…
And when the waves of fresh life force begin to roll in to take up the space where those heavy emotions had been held, we know that hanging out on the edge is a worthwhile business.
As the wise sage Rumi said.
‘Come again come, and yet again come. This is not a caravan of despair’.